You know
I really really considered staying in guides
That day i went to guides
Was to see what will happen if i choose to stay
I missed out alot of things during my absence this 3 months
Really missed alot, and i am really sorry for being absent
That day i went go guides
It was almost as if i was not there at all
I don't fit there in the fellows
Even the seniors, just kind of dun care anymore
It... kind of made me sad
That if i stay, this is gonna be how it's like?
But i made it this way myself, what can i say?

So i considered to simply change cca for good
But i really cant give up the points honestly
Because there really isn't one that can give me points
And what choices are there but futile ones?
Green club, and maybe dance.

Dance, i wouldn't ever be able to catch up.
And i am not that flexible as well, so it'll be super super hard.
And if i don't get selected for competitions (which i prob wun).
I wouldn't really get much points anywae.

Green club, i wouldn't ever be able to get enough points.
Ms ho advised to go this, but i just... dun really dare to.

Girl guides, i wouldn't ever be able to face the people properly.
And its like i there like not there, like sad liddat la. Aiya i dunno la.
And i missed alot for missing 3 months.
And the tchers... honestly they want me to leave i think.

Tell me. Which of this is really a choice?
Tmr is the final chance, please, i really... really very sick of this liao.
Nowadays i just keep crying over this whole pathetic issue.
I know, i know this is my fault.
But i had just... Had just wanted to find something i might like more.
So it was wrong, it was really wrong.
I honestly want to start all over again, but that's not possible.
I wanted too much, way too much.
Finding something i really like in sense of interest, is not for me.
This is the consequences for wanting it.
As for which and what, i seriously don't know.
I must decide, before the day breaks.
Please, let me do so, please please please.
Please. Grant me a decision, and the will.